I had all these things I wanted to do. I was going to exercise faithfully and read through the whole Bible. I was going to finally learn to cook and start making everything we ate from scratch. I was going to learn to sew, so I could make my children clothes. I was going to scrapbook, chronicling our entire life in beautiful Creative Memories scrapbooks.
But, somehow life kept getting in the way. As I mentioned, the mothering gig was much harder than I had anticipated. So my mantra became- "Some day when this is easier...when she is older...when I finally have more time, I'll do it." And on days that I was so overwhelmed, I would ask my dear husband, "Do you ever think I'll feel like I can catch up, like I'm not so far behind?" And would smile at me, as if he knew some secret.
The kids kept coming, and there was always the excuse of "It's just so hard because there is a new baby. It will get easier." After there were four, the excuse was "Wow! It's just so busy with four kids 6 and under. It will get easier." And then we were full into homeschooling, and it was "Well, when everyone can read and do work independently, I will get easier." And all that time I was putting off those things I wanted to do (or needed to do) and looking for the magic day when IT WOULD ALL BE EASIER.
And here I am with a confession. It doesn't get any easier. Sure I'm no longer up to my elbows in diapers and snotty noses. And I do have kids who can do their schoolwork independently. But now there are other things. I have four kids all involved in separate activities, and they need rides. I have teens that need to stay up at night and talk.
At first when you read that, you may think, "What a bummer!" - especially if you're a young mom who's had this idea that it was all going to get easier some day. But I'm really not admitting this to you so it can be a downer. I'm really telling you this to be an encouragement. (I can just imagine you rolling your eyes.) This confession isn't a dire prophecy of your future, unending days to come. It's a reminder- to you and to me.
I don't want to live in tomorrow any longer. I don't want to live for the day that it's getting easier. I want to make sure that I am enjoying today and doing the things I need to do today. Am I loving my husband today, not looking for a way to make time for him tomorrow when I'm not so busy? Am I talking to my kids today, not putting off for a day when we don't have so much scheduled? Most importantly, am I doing what God wants for me in my life right now, or am I waiting until I'm not quite as overwhelmed? Because, friend, it isn't getting any easier. But that's okay.
2 Corinthians 12: 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. So, it's okay that I'm overwhelmed and rushed and frustrated by life sometimes. It's okay that it's not getting any easier. I'm okay with that. And I'm making the most of now.