Thoughts on Marriage

On a web board I am a member of, we have been discussing our marriages this week- ways to do special things for our husbands and what makes a good marriage. Today we discussed keys to a good marriage. I wanted to share here what I wrote because I think this is so important. I know so many Christian men and women who do not have happy marriages. I am blessed to be married to a man I not only love but who is my best friend. Having a good marriage has not come easy for us. In the beginning, I was a nag and definitely not submissive, and he was too compliant and didn’t take his role of leadership seriously.
But over the years, God has matured us. He has worked through our marriage to grow us. We have learned much about good communication and about real love. I am incredible thankful for my husband and for our marriage.

What are the keys to a good marriage. Here are three of the most important that I have learned:

1. I learned to submit to his authority and to encourage him to lead. I was NOT a submissive wife when we married, and he is too laid back to push it. We went along for years like that until God began to work on us. Now I sometimes still struggle, but I know that he is much better at leading than I am!

2. I have learned to use his love language. My love language is acts of service, so I would do things like wash his clothes and make tea, etc. and expect him to get a big thrill out of it. He appreciated it but just didn’t seem so excited. I learned that I need to use his love language to really fill his tank! If you don’t know anything about love languages check out some books by Dr. Gary Chapman. We had the privilege to hear him speak in person last spring!

3. The other most important thing I’ve learned is to seek to satisfy him physically. (Did I say that delicately enough ). I have heard many Christian wives (and I’ve been one) who say, “Well I’m too tired and busy from caring for the house and kids, and that just shouldn’t be such a big deal. He just thinks about that all the time!” But, the fact is, that is how God created our husbands. And I need to love him in that way. It makes all the difference in our relationship when he knows I am seeking to please him there.

Those are some deep thoughts for today. But I believe that being a good wife to my husband is the second most important priority I have- next only to God. If I can get this right, many other things like parenting homeschooling, homemaking, are going to fall into place.

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