Marriage Is a Team Sport and We Are On the Same Team: Review and Giveaway of Team Us by Ashleigh Slater

I have been married twenty years as of this past December. So you may wonder why someone married that long with a marriage I would definitely describe as strong wanted to read a marriage book written by a woman who is much (much) younger than me. (I really felt my age when she talked about being in 3rd grade at the time one of my favorite movies from high school was released!) But there is reason that I really wanted to read it. And there’s a reason I’m going to recommend it.

 Jason and I have learned many things over the years of our marriage, but there is one in particular that I think has been key in facilitating our communication and helping us to solve problems and disagreements. It’s one of those things that has kind of come to each of us, individually over the years. And I don’t think we had ever really put it into words until recently. But, not too long ago we were talking to a young married couple who were disagreeing about a particular issue in their marriage, and both of us verbalized this almost at the same time.

When we have a disagreement, it’s easy to get into the mindset that one of us has to win. If I give in, he’s going to win. If he gives in, I win. With this mindset, there never is a true winner. Someone, no matter how generous they might try to be, is still going to feel like the loser, as if they were slighted. So we change the mindset. Instead of it being me against him, it’s now the two of us against whatever the issue is. It changes how we work toward resolution. Now we’re on the same team. And we are going to win against whatever this is that threatens our unity. It’s not me winning or him winning, it’s us winning. Now I’m not trying to get whatever I wanted to start with; instead I’m working toward the unity of our relationship. When we have that back, we both won.

Believe me. This isn’t an easy lesson to learn. And when you have a personality- like mine- who is always sure she’s right, it’s a lesson that’s a long time coming. But when you make this mindset switch, your marriage can be stronger and better than ever.

And that’s what led me to pick up Team Us: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater. From the book’s description:

What are you agreeing to when you say “I do”? When a couple promises “I do,” they agree to more than just a shared last name, a joint bank account, and no more dateless nights. This husband and wife duo forms a new team. “Life together” becomes their mantra. Nothing can come between them. At least, that’s the plan. But then real life sets in. With it come disappointments and frustrations. If the couple isn’t intentional in their day-to-day interactions, that once enthusiastic “we” can slowly revert to “you” and “me.” Before long, the couple’s left wondering what happened to their team spirit.
Team Us: Marriage Together offers couples practical ways to cultivate and strengthen unity in their marriages. Author Ashleigh Slater shares from her own marriage as she presents couples with realistic ideas on how to foster cooperation, deepen commitment, and exercise grace on a daily basis.

It’s true. This young (to me) author has written a book about marriage that gives practical ways to live out that truth that we’ve learned as a couple- You can both win when you’re on the same team.

I was curious about a marriage book geared toward couples that is written by a woman. I didn’t have a problem with it, but it was a little unusual, in my experience. Ashleigh Slater does an excellent job however. She presents practical information and personal stories in a way that’s easy to read and will draw couples in. Her husband chimes in throughout the chapters with little “Ted Says” bites. So the book is designed to appeal to men and women alike.

In each chapter, Ashleigh discusses an issue that spouses will often face. She uses personal stories to illustrate and discuss the power of being united as a team. Then she will often give specific tips to stay united, on the same team, when facing those things. Each chapter closes with activities for couples to do together. Ideally, Ashleigh says, husbands and wives could read the book together. But she also gives suggestions for using the book if that doesn’t work.

You can learn more about the book by watching the book trailer here.

“Team Us” Official Book Trailer from Ashleigh Slater on Vimeo.

You can also check out these sites for more information.
Ashleigh’s blog :
Book website (with a free excerpt):

And now for the giveaway! You can win your own copy of Team Us by entering below. The giveaway winner will be announced on Saturday evening (2/7/15).

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials
in Advertising”):
 Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for
providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions
are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did
receive a sample of the product in exchange for this
review and post.

 Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible
to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are entirely my own, and I was not compensated in any other way.

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