Real Life Homeschooling: The Dad Speaks

This is the third post in a series- Real Life Homeschooling. To read the introduction and find links to all of the Real Life Homeschooling posts, you can read the first post here.

In yesterday’s post, I shared my kids’ view about homeschooling with some interview questions. For today’s post I’m sharing my husband’s perspective about homeschooling.

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One of the most important tools I’ve found to maintain a strong marriage is communication. So we talk frequently about homeschooling and about our relationship. All of the questions I’m sharing are things that would be great to ask your spouse about homeschooling. There might be some good talking points here.

When did you first consider homeschooling a possibility for our family?

During our engagement. We had all these topics that we went over during our premarital counseling, and education choices was one. At that point we talked about homeschooling.

What do you think is the biggest benefit of homeschooling for our family?

Flexibility. Being able to adjust around my work schedule; being able to change things when a kid needs something different; even being able to let kids camp out in the living room when they want to- the flexibility is important.

What is the biggest drawback to homeschooling?

Because of the flexibility in schedule, you all like to stay up late and get up late, but I need to get up early for work. So the schedules conflict.

Do you ever think about the kids going to school and why?

Yes. As they’ve gotten into high school, I’ve thought about them missing out on school spirit- extracurricular activities, sports and such.

How does homeschooling affect your relationship with me?

In a negative way-The kids came from our relationship, but now the kids’ needs always seem to come first- before yours or mine. Also the physical demand on you is heavy, and that can negatively impact the time we have to spend together.
Positively-I don’t worry about the safety of the kids and what they might have to deal with, so that’s one level of stress off of me.

Is there anything you think couples can do to guard against the negative impact that homeschooling can have on the relationship?

Have a plan of how you are going to guarantee time together and how you’re guarding your relationship. When the wife is making an effort to do that as well, it communicates that you are on the same team. Also, have boundaries about when you’re going to work on homeschool stuff, and don’t let it take over the relationship time. And involve your spouse in what you’re doing for homeschooling.

So there it is: Dad’s thoughts on homeschooling. Although we both know that we are called to homeschool right now and we see the many benefits there are for the kids, homeschooling can take a toll on a marriage. So it’s important to keep those lines of communication open and make sure that your relationship is a priority.

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